A
A
B
B
C
That final 'C' was in the class I was most worried about. Logic and Critical Thinking. Kind of ironic, since if I thought logically, I could have seen that I never got lower than a 'C' in any of the tests (although I never got higher than one either). Which would mean that there was pretty much no way I was going to get lower than at least a 'C' in that class. But for the past few days (as I was waiting for those final grades to come out) I had been agonizing over my fate in that class.
Looking back on this semester, I still have those same woes that I usually have at the end of the term. The "oh, I know I could have done better" thoughts and feelings, because I know I could have if I had just tried a little harder in each of those classes I got less than an 'A'. But such is life. We can't dwell on things a little as that. The bigger picture is that I passed. I passed. I passed. I can't repeat that to myself enough. I passed...
I am totally elated by passing for the simple fact that back in high school, I was accepted and ready to go to UC Santa Cruz. Only, fate didn't have it that way. I failed my Intro to Analysis class (pre-calculus) and Santa Cruz rescinded my acceptance. I didn't really feel like fighting it, because in the back of my mind I guess I really kind of wanted to go to Sacramento City College. But throughout the rest of my mind, thoughts about "oh, what a fucking failure" were the most prevalent, seeping into the fabric of my being and defining my personality for the first few semesters I was at City College.
That feeling of failure lingered for quite awhile in my semesters at City, but slowly, it was chipped away by the experience that I think will come to define me for the rest of my life: The Express.
Never before has an experience like I had there been so rewarding, so reinvigorating, and yet so frustrating. I can still remember my first day three years ago like if it were only this past week, or even just a few hours ago. Walking around with Hannah, killing time before the Express started, sitting around, seeing all of these unfamiliar faces, some of them kind of weird. I never thought I'd look back at this time nostalgically, but it has become that far disconnected (if that's the right word). From our dealings with Brown Issues, to me becoming Editor in Chief, to more dealings with Brown Issues, to the anti-abortion protesters, to me becoming Editor in Chief of the online class, and all the other stuff both Express and non-Express related, I feel like I've been through way more than someone working at a community college publication should have been through. But, don't get me wrong, I am so glad I went through it. Call it a trial by fire or whatever, but thanks to all of those experiences, for better or worse, I learned immensely from them.
Anyway, through all of that, how can I say that my time at City College was a waste of time? I can't even believe I thought that when I first started there. This place was anything but a waste of time. Yes, I've changed my major plenty of times; from journalism to film, to theatre arts, back to journalism, then to political science. But thanks to the IGETC, I still finished in only three years, what I would think is the average time for people to get their general ed's out of the way here even if they do call these "2-year schools". This place was the farthest from a waste of time that you could get.
In the end, yeah, I am still a bit bummed that I missed out on a lot of those experiences that my fellow DHS alumni were able to be a part of that so define college life. But, I can still make up for it a UCD. Two years doesn't seem like a lot of time. But if I learned anything from City College, it's that you've got to make the most of the time you're given; whether it's because you're dangerously balancing work and school (and family, and other obligations), or because you've only got so much financial aid (or any money for that matter) to take classes, or because you just want to get the most out of your education. It's time to make up for lost time...
Me, kind of being a dork at the Express
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