I am now almost halfway done with the rough draft for my Requiem for Davis. I am almost finished with the second act, with only 2 more acts to go. Of course, the hardest parts are still ahead of me, with the editing and rewriting of the entire thing later, and not to mention the parts I haven't written yet... Oh god. But still, it feels good to be able to write down my ideas in a semi-sensical fashion. I love watching how the characters are growing a little bit each time. There is actual direction in this, I think. I even have come up with something of a real title for this piece, "Awkward Silence." Hmm, cliché? Maybe, but it fits well to me...
18 pages and counting.
I just got to keep on writing and not give up.
Stay inspired.
-Cecilio
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Round up...
R.I.P. Bill "The Genius" Walsh. You will be missed by the 49er faithful, as well as the rest of the league. You are the father of the modern game. Nothing can compare to your vast legacy, in the minds of the fans and NFL history...
1931-2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Walking...
Oh, how I love walking about two miles in 100 degree summer heat in tight heavy clothes and big clunky shoes. It just makes my day...
Why was I doing that? Well, it all has to do with my resolve never to attend another church service again. I am willing lose about 10 pounds walking home rather than listen another pathetic empty sermon. This is my faith now, a faith in myself and humanity, not in my mother's god.
My feet do hurt like fucking crazy right now, though. But, I do not regret my decision, not yet.
Oh, and if there is a god, why would he create such a disease that destroys the very thing that makes us human, that defines who we are? I am talking about Alzheimer’s disease, which is afflicting my beloved grandmother. The doesn't recognize too many people anymore, including me. This deeply saddens me, because I hold very fond memories of her. I can't really say much more, since I am at a loss for words...
-Cecilio
Why was I doing that? Well, it all has to do with my resolve never to attend another church service again. I am willing lose about 10 pounds walking home rather than listen another pathetic empty sermon. This is my faith now, a faith in myself and humanity, not in my mother's god.
My feet do hurt like fucking crazy right now, though. But, I do not regret my decision, not yet.
Oh, and if there is a god, why would he create such a disease that destroys the very thing that makes us human, that defines who we are? I am talking about Alzheimer’s disease, which is afflicting my beloved grandmother. The doesn't recognize too many people anymore, including me. This deeply saddens me, because I hold very fond memories of her. I can't really say much more, since I am at a loss for words...
-Cecilio
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Take me out...
I love watching baseball in the summer. Whether it is curling up in front of the TV to watch an evening game or venturing out to McAfee Colosseum on the weekends. Nothing beats baseball, in my opinion. It is still the great American pastime, no matter how big football and basketball get. Of course, during those two months when the baseball and football seasons overlap, if I have to choose between an A's game and 49ers one, there will be no contest. The Niners one for sure. Unless it is a playoff game.
However, to back up my statement that baseball is still the great American pastime, I can only say that baseball is the most accessible and universal sport. Everyone has played a in baseball game. Those who haven't are really missing out. Anyone who says baseball is boring to watch just doesn't know what to watch for. Baseball is the ultimate numbers game. Statistics exist for almost every conceivable thing they do on the base paths. Baseball at the major levels is also one of the most technical sports out there. The fine tuning involved in every pitch and every swing looks so smooth as to look easy, but there is so much going on behind all that. And yeah, whatever.
I guess I am writing this because my team is slowly surging right now. They are coming out of a horrible streak of losses that would make fans of other teams say that the season is a loss. But these are the A's. The constant overachievers.
Oh, and I start training for my first job in 2 years on Monday. Yippie. Although that means when I do start my job, I will have less time to watch baseball. Damn.
God I am tired...
-Cecilio
However, to back up my statement that baseball is still the great American pastime, I can only say that baseball is the most accessible and universal sport. Everyone has played a in baseball game. Those who haven't are really missing out. Anyone who says baseball is boring to watch just doesn't know what to watch for. Baseball is the ultimate numbers game. Statistics exist for almost every conceivable thing they do on the base paths. Baseball at the major levels is also one of the most technical sports out there. The fine tuning involved in every pitch and every swing looks so smooth as to look easy, but there is so much going on behind all that. And yeah, whatever.
I guess I am writing this because my team is slowly surging right now. They are coming out of a horrible streak of losses that would make fans of other teams say that the season is a loss. But these are the A's. The constant overachievers.
Oh, and I start training for my first job in 2 years on Monday. Yippie. Although that means when I do start my job, I will have less time to watch baseball. Damn.
God I am tired...
-Cecilio
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Somewhere over the rainbow
"Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?"
I've been singing this song all week, annoying the hell out of people. Unlike Dorothy, however, I am searching for a home, rather than wishing I could go back. The home I have come to know all too well holds way too many memories for me to stay much longer. I fear for my sanity, as well as my future. My friends will soon be leaving, for college, work, and whatever. Me and a handful of people will be left behind, nursing those memories that staying here will bring. One by one, the ones who remain will dwindle, fleeing this place. This town. This hell. Is this place I live in home?
-Cecilio
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The first burned bridge...
So, in my pathetic type of rebellion, I decided that I will no longer attend church. I've been going to church (the good old Catholic kind) since I was a born. I was baptized as soon as my parents could book an appointment. I went through all of the sacraments, all of the religious education, and yet their brainwashing couldn't penetrate my mind (disturbing choice of words, noting recent events of the church...). Indeed, they do try to brainwash you as a child...
Here is the type of brainwashing they instill on you- One of the first things you learn in religious ed is a few very catchy songs, songs that I could still sing word for word today. As a child, they distill the more disturbing parts of the Bible to little cartoons and omit some other parts all together. During the reading of the Gospel, the religious ed leaders gather all the kids from the church, taking them from their families, into this room in the school where the leaders recite the Gospel and then discuss it. Of course, they call this active participation in the word of God.
However, through all of this and among other things, I managed to form a much more critical opinion of the church. I cannot pinpoint the exact time when I began to question what I was learning every Sunday, but I know it must have happened when I began reading a larger breadth of books, which was around 5th grade or something like that. Why would reading different books distance me so much from the Bible? Lord if I knew... But one thing I do know is that the universal truths the Bible parades around in its allegorical fashion can be learned from other sources, especially in this day and age.
And this brings me to the reason why I decided to never attend church voluntarily again. Attending a Catholic mass in my area now, one would love to scream out loud "preaching to the choir" throughout the mass. Why? Well, it seemed that every single mass I've attended seemed like ever other mass. The only difference being the normal rotation of the priests who spit this bullshit. Well, not all of it is bullshit, but most of it is.
Indeed, I did not really have a problem from the priests. Well, I did not have a problem with the main priests, some others I just hated for their holier than thou attitude. Ironic? Yes. Anyway, I hated church because of all the jackasses that attended it. Barely any of the these people practiced what they preached. For example, my own parents. They listened to all this preaching of love and peace, but when they came home, they always talked about how they hated their neighbors and their animosity towards the people they feel have wronged them over the years. Excuse me? But isn't one of the main teachings of the Bible is forgiveness?
Yet, it wasn't just the jackasses (and yes, I just implied that my parents are jackasses). It was the climate of the times. From the issues with gay marriage, the ongoing and pointless evolution debate, and the wars in the Middle East and elsewhere that seem only to be fueled by religion, I just couldn't bring myself to identify with religion. People use religion for things it shouldn't be used for and was never intended for use in the first place. I've formed a more objective view of religion in the past few years, from which I concluded that people created religion, created their own gods, in order to bring peace and a sense of security in this scary world. I believe there have been times where religion had it's place; the early days of man up to the Civil Rights movement of the 1960's. But, increasingly, people have been using religion as more of a crutch to uphold their believes that may or may not be a part of the beliefs of the religion in the first place.
But what the hell do I know. The only thing I'm sure of is that I've decided that I can no longer attend mass with my family. Indeed, I do think I got some good things out of my experience with my church, but most of the things have nothing to do with the belief in God. The things being; presents on Christmas for celebrating the birth of Christ, talking it up with really hot Catholic girls (it's not a stereotype, seriously), and the courage to ask questions. Of course, the courage I gained eventually led me away from the church.
-Cecilio
Here is the type of brainwashing they instill on you- One of the first things you learn in religious ed is a few very catchy songs, songs that I could still sing word for word today. As a child, they distill the more disturbing parts of the Bible to little cartoons and omit some other parts all together. During the reading of the Gospel, the religious ed leaders gather all the kids from the church, taking them from their families, into this room in the school where the leaders recite the Gospel and then discuss it. Of course, they call this active participation in the word of God.
However, through all of this and among other things, I managed to form a much more critical opinion of the church. I cannot pinpoint the exact time when I began to question what I was learning every Sunday, but I know it must have happened when I began reading a larger breadth of books, which was around 5th grade or something like that. Why would reading different books distance me so much from the Bible? Lord if I knew... But one thing I do know is that the universal truths the Bible parades around in its allegorical fashion can be learned from other sources, especially in this day and age.
And this brings me to the reason why I decided to never attend church voluntarily again. Attending a Catholic mass in my area now, one would love to scream out loud "preaching to the choir" throughout the mass. Why? Well, it seemed that every single mass I've attended seemed like ever other mass. The only difference being the normal rotation of the priests who spit this bullshit. Well, not all of it is bullshit, but most of it is.
Indeed, I did not really have a problem from the priests. Well, I did not have a problem with the main priests, some others I just hated for their holier than thou attitude. Ironic? Yes. Anyway, I hated church because of all the jackasses that attended it. Barely any of the these people practiced what they preached. For example, my own parents. They listened to all this preaching of love and peace, but when they came home, they always talked about how they hated their neighbors and their animosity towards the people they feel have wronged them over the years. Excuse me? But isn't one of the main teachings of the Bible is forgiveness?
Yet, it wasn't just the jackasses (and yes, I just implied that my parents are jackasses). It was the climate of the times. From the issues with gay marriage, the ongoing and pointless evolution debate, and the wars in the Middle East and elsewhere that seem only to be fueled by religion, I just couldn't bring myself to identify with religion. People use religion for things it shouldn't be used for and was never intended for use in the first place. I've formed a more objective view of religion in the past few years, from which I concluded that people created religion, created their own gods, in order to bring peace and a sense of security in this scary world. I believe there have been times where religion had it's place; the early days of man up to the Civil Rights movement of the 1960's. But, increasingly, people have been using religion as more of a crutch to uphold their believes that may or may not be a part of the beliefs of the religion in the first place.
But what the hell do I know. The only thing I'm sure of is that I've decided that I can no longer attend mass with my family. Indeed, I do think I got some good things out of my experience with my church, but most of the things have nothing to do with the belief in God. The things being; presents on Christmas for celebrating the birth of Christ, talking it up with really hot Catholic girls (it's not a stereotype, seriously), and the courage to ask questions. Of course, the courage I gained eventually led me away from the church.
-Cecilio
Monday, July 16, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Requiem (for Davis)
More specifically, it's a requiem for people leaving Davis.
It's a new project I am working on at the moment, originally conceived from my experience in making another movie kinda like it during school and from other ideas floating around in my head. It basically encompasses all of my experiences, thoughts, and other stuff I've gained from living in Davis, in an attempt to make people appreciate this place I am glad to call home. I am hoping to organize it enough to make it into a movie (amateur, of course), but so far it is only a 7 page short story that is still incomplete. When I actually finish writing it, then I'll see if it is strong enough to be made into some sort of coherent movie. If I do try to make it, I will need a lot of help...
-Cecilio
It's a new project I am working on at the moment, originally conceived from my experience in making another movie kinda like it during school and from other ideas floating around in my head. It basically encompasses all of my experiences, thoughts, and other stuff I've gained from living in Davis, in an attempt to make people appreciate this place I am glad to call home. I am hoping to organize it enough to make it into a movie (amateur, of course), but so far it is only a 7 page short story that is still incomplete. When I actually finish writing it, then I'll see if it is strong enough to be made into some sort of coherent movie. If I do try to make it, I will need a lot of help...
-Cecilio
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